quoted: Ernest Hemingway
Once every six months or so, my Facebook feed has a slump. It seems like everyone's life sucks, and people are just generally unhappy. It usually lasts about a week, and it is absolutely awful to endure. My happiness largely depends on the happiness of the people close to me, and when many of my close friends' ever-sunny demeanors are suddenly sullen and exhausted, I panic and I kind of break down. I try so very hard to help my friends through their problems, to at least assist them in coping, even if I cannot help them get better (which, usually, I am simply unable to do).
This past week was that week. I am so tired. Physically, emotionally, mentally. I so desperately want my friends to feel better. Maybe that's a little selfish--I do myself want to feel better, too--but I really do genuinely want everyone to just be okay. Life doesn't need to be brilliant again, not yet; it just needs to be okay.
--------x
On the upside: I have an audition tomorrow, dance has started again, I get to sleep in tomorrow (sort of), and I just bought some more Missy Higgins on iTunes. If you're looking for some music, try "Going North" by her, or "These Days" by Chantal Kreviazuk, or "Let it Rain" by Keri Noble.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
“Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.”
quoted: David Borenstein
Tonight I posted a Facebook status: Like for a poem on your wall. It got a fair amount of likes (fair meaning more than thirty), and I was (am) pleased. I found poems by famous and not-so-famous (but mostly famous) American poets online, and I copied and pasted them to my friends' Facebook walls. I even typed out some original poetry on a few people's walls, nervously and reluctantly, for it felt like giving away a little bit of my soul, and I feared rejection and retort. Almost every poem I posted, original or otherwise, got at least a like, if not a comment in response. A few of the likes, I felt, were simply out of etiquitte--after all, not everyone is a big fan of metaphoric, some-thought-assembly-required poetry, and that's what I was posting--but most of the likes and comments felt genuine. I think I reached some people tonight in posting the great words of Walt Whitman, e. e. cummings, Marvin Bell, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Robert Creeley on their Facebook walls. I think I urged them to think and, more importantly, to feel.
And speaking of feeling: lately, I've felt hollow, shallow, and empty. Mostly because I have no answers to the questions I desire the answers to regarding life in general. But I've also felt very teenagerish, ordinary, and human lately. More than ever before. My good friend Torrey told me, though, that emotion is the effect of knowledge and lack of knowledge, and there must be lack of knowledge if there is to be knowledge. This consoled me--perhaps the reason I feel so real is because I feel detached. Because confusing emotions are normal, and I am more ordinary than I think.
-Pauline
Tonight I posted a Facebook status: Like for a poem on your wall. It got a fair amount of likes (fair meaning more than thirty), and I was (am) pleased. I found poems by famous and not-so-famous (but mostly famous) American poets online, and I copied and pasted them to my friends' Facebook walls. I even typed out some original poetry on a few people's walls, nervously and reluctantly, for it felt like giving away a little bit of my soul, and I feared rejection and retort. Almost every poem I posted, original or otherwise, got at least a like, if not a comment in response. A few of the likes, I felt, were simply out of etiquitte--after all, not everyone is a big fan of metaphoric, some-thought-assembly-required poetry, and that's what I was posting--but most of the likes and comments felt genuine. I think I reached some people tonight in posting the great words of Walt Whitman, e. e. cummings, Marvin Bell, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Robert Creeley on their Facebook walls. I think I urged them to think and, more importantly, to feel.
And speaking of feeling: lately, I've felt hollow, shallow, and empty. Mostly because I have no answers to the questions I desire the answers to regarding life in general. But I've also felt very teenagerish, ordinary, and human lately. More than ever before. My good friend Torrey told me, though, that emotion is the effect of knowledge and lack of knowledge, and there must be lack of knowledge if there is to be knowledge. This consoled me--perhaps the reason I feel so real is because I feel detached. Because confusing emotions are normal, and I am more ordinary than I think.
-Pauline
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)